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October 15, 2012
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(Contains: sexual themes)
The Dance of the Three-Legged Guar
By Crassius Curio

ACT IV, SCENE III, CONTINUED

Almani Tren: You're quite an acrobat indeed but I think I still need entertainment. Wouldn't you tell me more about the work you used to do in the plantations?

Strokes-His-Horn: It was quite harrassing, bending all day long with my tool to put some seed here and there.

Almani Tren: I've heard it's even harder during the mating season of guars.

Strokes-His-Horn: Truly, horny guars grow a third leg and can't go straight. Such an arousal puts a strong pressure on our Argonian skins as we still have to please the master by the end of day.

Almani Tren: Fortunately you are free now. And yet you seem tensed.

Strokes-His-Horn: It must be that this situation is so unusual, sera.

Almani Tren: Maybe it could relieve you to bend a little with your tool and put some seed here...

Strokes-His-Horn: ...And there? Well, this sounds more familiar.

Almani Tren: What a beautiful tool you have... So, who's the three-legged guar now?

END OF ACT IV, SCENE III
I've been wanting to give a try to this for a long time. Actually I've always wondered what The Dance of the Three-Legged Guar could be like :D This must be appalling enough I assume.

10 drakes or a doodle for the person who'd find the hidden identity of Almani Tren^^ Since Crassius Curio obviously made Crantius Colto after himself I thought it could be funny to create a character after an existing NPC. She probably would not be happy to find out about this :XD:

More TES works here
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:iconarainmorn:
ArainMorn Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013  Student General Artist
Oh my *blushes* It's really look like written by Curio)) ^\\\\\\^
Well done, my dear! =)
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:iconizz-noxfox:
Izz-noxfox Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thank you XD I think the detail I like the most in this is the name of Almani Tren, obviously mocking the name of Ilmeni Dren, the leader of the Twin Lamps. I like to think she must have been so angry and embarrassed if she read what our favorite Hlaalu high councilor fantasized about her :D
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:iconhastur66:
Hastur66 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013
Aaahahaha! Yes! This could absoloutly have been written by Curio! :D
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:iconizz-noxfox:
Izz-noxfox Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thank you very much! I did my best to keep true to him, haha :D
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:iconnadmoremtumana:
nadmoremtumana Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Let's wish Strokes-His-Horn nice guar, who know right direction for every of his legs.

Ilmeni Dren!
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:iconizz-noxfox:
Izz-noxfox Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012  Professional General Artist
Hahaha! Let's hope indeed!

Good guess! You can have 10 drakes or a doodle of your choice^^
(Ilmeni must have been very shocked to discover this piece :D)
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